Dear You,

Geometry Wars 2 was shaping up to become one of my favourite games of the year. It was a pleasure, something I enjoyed and loved, a source of eternal happiness. Once i'd gotten to grips with the new game modes and ideas I immediately set about beating your score and the others' as well. It was fun, destroying your records, and virtually mocking you, laughing at you behind your back, smiling, with the biggest grin on my face. My ego was fucking huge. But you knew that, and you didn't like it, did you? You weren't going to take my taunts much longer- I should've known you'd snap eventually. You had to turn the tables eventually.

But you've ruined the game, and you've taken it far too seriously. You forget that the game is all about having fun, shooting irregular abstract shapes and nothing more. Relaxing, and playing to enjoy, not get revenge and develop rivalries. It is with bad news that I regret to inform you that despite my best efforts, I simply cannot beat your score of 84 million. I've tried, until my ears have popped and I can't see anything other than shapes, floating, dancing before my eyes, even when i'm not playing. I think, I dream, I fear that dancing pink square, and for now, the game is over. You've changed the rules of the game, and this is a battle I don't want to be in anymore, i'm sorry. You've won, and despite a few more goes down the line, I am not planning to beat your score anytime soon. You win mister, and I hope you're glad- please try to restrain yourself from taunting and boasting at any available opportunity, i'm sorry I provoked you, now please leave me alone.

Yours disheartedly,

Me.

Remakes, or, more recently, Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes.

Ahead of a playthrough (and purchase) of MGS4 at the end of this month, i've been playing through the MGS trilogy- against my better judgement, it included the Gamecube's Twin Snakes rather than the PSOne original. Don't get me wrong, it was great playing through the game again, but this is yet another remake that completely butchers the original. The cut-scenes are stupid -stupid even for the MGS series.There's no VR Missions, and villains Ocelot and Liquid are nowhere near as badass as previously- it's a total mess that fucks with my nostalgia.

Never again.

I posted a while back about my recent Lego purchase, 10190 Market Street . The set quickly became a surprise favourite, and before long my thoughts turned to expansion, and how I could develop or build upon the idea further. It's something The Lego Group continue to do themselves, and since the release of the set and it's thematic brothers, it's a building style and idea that's quickly developing it's own community, that thankfully provides a continuous stream of new MOCs.

Varick is my first attempt at this new way of building, and my first foray into town/city building since, well...a long time ago. Being different from something medieval historical or fantasy-based, the end result is a MOC that uses different brick types and colours to what i'm normally used to. Nonetheless, it's an interesting diversion, and a sub-theme i'm interested in continuing with at a further date, perhaps with a Varick 2.0? Already i'm seeing things that i'm not happy with the current model, while, inevitably, new ideas are a recurring distraction. I've included both 10190 and 10185 in the MOC, but i've changed them a little- adding floors, changing the roof and adding smaller details to help it fit in with what I have built. The backs of these models have also been added to, but i've restrained myself from adding interiors. As always it's the little things that excite me- populating the MOC is always my favourite part, no matter what i'm building.

Varick will remain built for a few days. The actual sets that i've spliced into it i'll try and keep built for as long as possible, but as for the rest, it doesn't matter too much- I need my bricks back! As ever, deconstruction and the tedious sorting that will follow, are two things i'm not looking forward to. Planning ahead for the next project, thankfully, is the opposite.

Varick

Wet Saturdays and Summers where everything is far from summery mean only one thing, DVD reruns. Yesterday saw return visits to Peep Show and Futurama, while today is the predecessor, The Simpsons, Season 4. It's a bizarre choice, especially considering how little of a The Simpsons fan anymore. That said, these are the classic episodes, that are still thankfully funny in every area. It's interesting that, despite the show now being in it's twentieth-something year, the best episodes come from this very season.

Marge vs. the Monorail is my favourite episode, period. Originally aired in January 1993, fifteen whole years have passed since it premiered. With the show's continual failures and decline in quality, I think it's safe to say that this accolade will never be passed onto another episode. Sure, we can be hopeful this isn't the case at all, but lets not shit ourselves- I don't like change and the writers of the Simpsons nowadays have no standard of quality. No matter, here's some reasons why I love Marge vs. the Monorail though:

• Phil Hartman guest stars and has a huge role in the episode. Troy Mclure and Lionel Hutz are probably the two best recurring characters the show has, but in this episode Hartman plays Lyle Lanley a whimsical conman cross-breed of the two, and without gushing, is undoubtedly the best thing about the episode.
• There's singing, and dancing. Midway into the episode the entire population of Springfield breaks into song encouraged by the afore-mentioned Lanley. Musically, and lyrically, it's the best song the show's ever housed, laden with funny one-line cameos and incredibly catchy. To many, this song will immedieately be synonymous with the episode, and perhaps, classic Simpsons.
• There's random violence and quick-fire laughs. A popcorn truck blows up, conjoined twins are seperated because of a high-speed anchor and freuquent examles of the Springfield mob mentality and the ongoing rivalry and feud with neighbouring town, Shellbyville.
• Mr Burns' disguise as Mr Snrub, "yes, that'll do!" , the family of opossums, and Homer's all-time awesome line, "I call the big-one Bitey!". Really, ideas and scenes this random and nonsical needs nothing more said about them, they're legendary.
• The episode focusses largely on Marge, with the writers' desire for Bart to be cool and Homer's adventures into absurdity, thankfully both given a backseat. Marge's continued presence as the protagonist and driving force behind the episode is an interesting change, and the episode benefits from it.
• References, there's lots of them. Batman, Star Wars, Star Trek (thanks to the awesome inclusion of Leonard Nimoy) and most importantly, The Flinstones, the opening of the episode seeing Homer escape from work singing with so much reference and tribute to the music of the Flinstones theme-tune, before ending in, again, random quick-fire violence.

By the end of the episode everything is wrapped up neatly, with no future consequences (although EPA later reappear in the Movie), and it really is one of those episodes where you can tune in without previous viewing, laugh, tune-out, and remember. The amount of times i've watched it is silly, but with each viewing the episode retains exactly what made it so funny, endearing and exciting as previously, smiles not being effect of the humour, but a constant presence throughout the twenty minutes. I know what's going to happen, I know what the next line of the song is, and yet...yet it's pivotal viewing. It's the best episode of The Simpsons because it combines and mixes exactly what is so good about the show in the first place, and to great effect.

If you know someone who has never heard of or watched The Simpsons, simply, this is the episode you point them towards.

The second episode of the second season of Black Books sees anti-social, hate-everything book owner Bernard change his ways and go about his days feeling happy and trying to impress a girl, a summer girl. It's a great episode.

I've got to get a girlfriend, just for the summer, until this wears off. She'll be a summery girl. She'll have hair. She'll have summery friends who know how to be outside. She'll play tennis and wear dresses and have bare feet, and in the autumn, I'll ditch her, because she's my summer girl!

I don't own a bookshop and there's certainly no girl (you're kidding right- me & other people?), on second thoughts, it's maybe even a bad reference, but despite what I said earlier, I am thoroughly enjoying summer. Can't this season -and happiness?- last just a little longer before leaving entirely? Either that or I want another two weeks of work holiday...

I've had my X360 for sometime now, just over two years in fact. The game most played on it, is without a doubt Team Fortress 2 (or The Orange Box to be more specific), while the second-most played game, is an arcade gem, by the name of Geometry Wars. It's abstract twin-stick shooting explosion of colour and sound is just one of those games I keep going back to for blasts at a time, but that stops today; i've bought the sequel. It's an unwritten law that videogame sequels can either fall into one of two categories, a) they be weaker than the original and more of the same, or b) the sequel that not only refreshes the original title but reinvents it entriely while still playing on it's strengths. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 is thankfuly the latter.

So everything's bigger. It's brighter, louder, and thanks to the addition of five new game modes, it's a lot more varied. Naturally scoring high is always the objective, no matter what the rules, but the new games reinvigorate the title by putting a spin on things, some of which can change the game completely. King decides that firing is disallowed unless you're in a zone, the catch being these small safe-zones only allowing a few seconds of cover. when they're out, it's a dash to the next one, weaving the enemies on your way. Pacifism is silimar, but ensures you're unable to fire at all, flying through gates to evaporate your pursuers. Waves is a barrage or criss-cross attacks from the enemy travelling in lines the length and width of the map, while Deadline, the most similar to the original gamemode gives you unlimited lives and three minutes to get your high score. The final new addition is Sequence; twenty stages, each lasting thirty seconds, pre-determined enemy positions.The new modes, collectively are a lot of fun, and ensure that when you're stuck or tired of one, there's more to try. They're pretty imaginative, and well...different, but they feel altogether classic GW, no matter what new rules they may bring to the table.

In the screenshots it's hard to see the game as perhaps being any different to it's predecessors, but after only a few seconds playing you'll realise this isn't the case, and the game does pack more of a visual punch with all the neon-fireworking happening on screen. The music too, is thankfuly as exciting and fast-paced as previously, with again, minor reworks instead of full-scale reimaginings. Multiplayer is unfortunately restricted to only local-play, but with a plethora of online leaderboards, you versus the world style, what does it matter? Overall, it's a sequel that delivers. It's more of the same yes, but the new ideas and modes that litter that basic formula make the game altogether more refreshing, and while it will always be debatable if this is the definitive version of the series or otherwise, one thing is true, I have found my new addiction.